A Better You Than Yesterday..: A Better You Than Yesterday..: Perfectly Imperfect...

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A Better You Than Yesterday..: Reflections of a Mirror

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Reflections of a Mirror

It’s human nature to be judgmental. We’ve all judged people at some point in time or another. Some of us are amazing at snappy judgments and assessing things the way we perceive them to be and not what really is. In my earlier years, I, too, have judged unfairly despite being taught never to judge a book by its cover. But as I’ve grown older, I find myself so engulfed in my own world that I have no time for judgment of others, only an understanding of self and what lies behind the mirror. Sometimes books might have a fascinating cover but when we begin to read the book we realize that the cover was far better than the story itself. Sometimes books have a shabby cover but the story is so entrancing that we cannot put the book down. I stopped judging people. I learned to see past the book cover. Understanding that everyone has a story, get to know them better, listen to their story, or realize it has no affect on your life so just let them live. 

People don’t hear what I’m not saying. There’s a reason I do the things I do, there’s a reason I am who I am. But I don’t have to share the fine details of my life story or explain myself to anyone. I don’t carry judgment about myself so it doesn’t even bother me. Don’t let people make you feel bad or guilty for living your life. It’s YOUR life. Everyone has been victim to unfair judgments. Most often, the people judging don’t really know you, they don’t know what you’re about. Situations have made me change, I’ve become wiser and stronger but the core of me is still the same. I have been judged by people who knew nothing about me, but in their heads they knew exactly what I was. What they based their judgments on is simply what they perceived from the basis of their own world. However, it made me realize that sometimes people will just see what they want to see and not what really is. They’ll believe exactly what they want to believe while they reside in their pseudo worlds.

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Follow your own unique path. Every day is a chance to change your life. Work on you. Work on making life all that you want it to be. Work hard for what you believe, and keep your dreams big and your worries small. You never need to carry more than you can hold, just take it one day at a time. And while you’re out there making decisions instead of excuses, learning new things, and getting closer and closer to your goals, know that there are others out there who admire your efforts and are striving for greatness too. When you focus on yourself, there is not time or place for the judgment of others.

People don’t know your story, and you don’t know theirs. Rise above a life full of judgment, live your life and allow others to live theirs. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion even if it’s wrong. We have a prerogative to just ignore their thoughts especially when we know the truth. It doesn’t matter what the story is, it isn’t up to us to pass judgment on anyone. Every person you meet has something special to give you, if you are open to receiving it. Each encounter offers you the gift of greater self-awareness by illustrating what you do and don’t accept about yourself. An honest look will show you that the reactions you have to others give you more information about yourself than about them. You can never know for sure what motivates other people. But you can learn what you are accepting or judging in yourself. When you use your judgment of others as a mirror to show you the workings of your own mind, every person’s reflection can become a valuable gift.

Everything you need to break unhealthy cycles is within you.

I Choose.

I had a transformational experience recently..

I began to look around and realize the label I had given myself, being tough. Every breath I live is by being tough, in everything I am, everything I do and every decision I place in front of me.. I choose the challenging road only in order to fulfill this label, to be tough. But, is the payback really worth it?

I was defining myself by what I did, how I did it, not who I really was.

The label helps to the extent that it gives an identity that informs my choices and invites my surroundings. Yet, I couldn’t help but notice that it also gave me limits and sets me firmly in the center of a vortex, where I was in and others were out.

Being a fighter, an achiever, is an integral part of my identity. Yet, after a while, it started to become confining. Your strong suits are not only what create your success, but they’re also your prison cell, too.

With these realizations, I began to unravel and dissolve this need to choose being tough and allow for vulnerability at times. I began to realize that I was being held hostage. By myself.

I have started to peel away the hardened layers that I have built and began to allow the light that lived beneath to come out, intuiting my way back to the sacredness and simpleness of who I am.

I traded choosing the road less traveled, when unnecessary, for the path right in front of me. I traded being tough on myself for giving myself grace. I traded the required instinct to be tough for the choice to be vulnerable. I traded only seeing success when I overcame a tough situation to accepting success in everyday opportunities.

I quit judging myself for falling short when I wasn’t being tough, and started understanding that vulnerability fills you with something special, that the confinement of your prison cell can steal from you. The joy of life, living, freedom, choice. 

I thought that in order to be strong and powerful I had to be tough and put up a good fight, putting up protective layers of resistance. Ironically, in an effort to be strong, I was giving up my power.

Because, you see, when you decide to no longer be a person defined by all the conscious and mindful choices you make, you gain something remarkable.

You gain access back to your intuition that can only get lost when you are always trying to lead the way.

You gain access to the ability to stand with the shadow parts of yourself, instead of running away from them.

You gain access back to presence and the ability to be in the moment, in the joy of experiencing the moments in front of you, without worrying if you are somehow failing yourself.

You gain an understanding that these things that you are labeled by are choices, not definitions.

And you gain access to the freedom to live this life fully, undefined. Tough. Or not.

A Better You Than Yesterday..: Invictus. I am.

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A Better You Than Yesterday..: 110 Floors

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A Better You Than Yesterday..: Perfectly Imperfect

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A Better You Than Yesterday..: Impossible is an Opinion.

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A Better You Than Yesterday..: Live Out Loud

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Live Out Loud

The biggest mistake we can make in life is being afraid of living.

The worst thing we can do to ourselves is be afraid to accept a challenge, to push ourselves, to join the struggle to be a better person. The worst thing we can do is let our fear overcome our desire to live our life fully and completely.

Being afraid is common. Fighting against the things you want and the people who make you better is easy, because it's comfortable in the middle of perfection and failure. It is scary to fight your entire life for something, to spend every day struggling and striving for a goal, and then realize that you are going to accomplish it. It is scary to live, and to do, so deliberately and honestly and with an open mind and heart. But, not living that way is a waste of life.

I would rather live a life of purpose and strive for the unreasonable, with goals, challenges, and happiness, then spend my whole life sitting comfortably in a spot that gives me no joy.

The real joy in life is found in overcoming the challenges, when the impossible becomes possible. The real joy comes when you fight long enough for something that you get it. The real joy comes in being afraid and allowing that fear to provoke you into creating the best moments and experiences of your life.

But, what if you fight for something, strive for a goal, and lose.. or fail. Is that joy gone? Hell no. The only thing in life you have control over is your perspective. No matter what happens, YOU control what the meaning is, and what to do with the meaning you give to the circumstance. Be empowered by disappointment. Take responsibility for your joy.

Don't let today's disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow's dreams.

I lost my first boxing match recently. I have always had a love for boxing as a sport. Getting in the ring was a personal goal, the level of conditioning required, the mastery of skill, the beautiful technique and most of all, the mental fortitude and emotional capacity necessary. I lost. But, I chose to get back up and fight again.

No one can instill the mental toughness and work ethic required to become a champion in any aspect of life. You have to dig deep within you and find the drive, find those qualities, on your own. Believe in yourself, even when it seems nobody else does. There is no luck involved, hard work spotlights character.

Although, the first question I received from most was, did you win? As though winning is a tell all, a defining moment of you as a person, your ability, your strength. Never mind the journey behind it. My response was simple, I lost. And it has been interesting as I watch the expressions and hear this perception of loss from others. I remained quiet and allowed them to soak in their idea of loss and absorb the emotions it provided them. And never once did any ask what I felt, or thought, about it. Through their filter, they thought they already knew.

I choose a lifestyle that supports my vision. I choose that I am a better person, with or without the label of a win or lose, in any physical goal or competition and in every area of my life. If you think you’ve failed at the things you’ve set out to accomplish, I challenge you to look at it from a different perspective. This is about who you want to be, and your purpose, it is about taking action in your life. My purpose? To inspire and enhance the life of others. To create something bigger than me. My failures only come, if I don't try. 

I don't whisper my dreams and goals. I march loudly to the beat of my own drum and shout them to the world. If others see me courageously pursuing my dreams, and being unreasonable in my goals, regardless of the outcome, maybe I will inspire others to pursue more of their own, too.