If You’re Not 1st, You’re Still Not Last

‘Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday.’ — Wilma Rudolph   

Them: ‘How did you do!?’

Me: ‘I placed 25th out of 36.’ 

As though I should be disappointed by my results, they wait for any physical queues and hang onto my next words to feed their response. I shouldn’t have to set the stage, but feel like it’s required because we’re so conditioned to believe that the only positive result is to win. What does winning even mean anyway? To think, we are responsible for making Charlie Sheen a Twitter sensation with his self-proclaimed hashtag, ‘winning’. What a shit show. 

Raise your hand if you’ve ever come in last.. 1st, placed 9th or even 213th. Only you know where you stood, was it a level playing field, an easy win, or was it you against the best of the best? Newsflash, there’s a difference. Don’t get me wrong, standing on the podium is fun, it feels good and it might even feel like success. But let’s be real, it isn’t always. Because if we’re constantly winning, out performing or if we’re the smartest person in the room.. WE ARE IN THE WRONG ROOM. You know this. On a stationary bike, spinning nowhere fast, surrounded by comfort and complacency. With no growth, no change. That sounds fucking miserable. You’re lying to yourself if you think this brings you pride and fulfillment in life. You’re better than that. Stop selling yourself short. 

In life, we tend to stay where we win. Unless you’re me. I love putting hard things in front of me, I seek challenge. If it’s an opportunity for me to be tough.. I’m in. I’m not growing anywhere without it (you see what I did there?). I love suffering, and succeeding. My purpose is motivating others to be their best, by being my best. I couldn’t possibly be that person if I didn’t shoot for the stars in all I do.

Last season I made the podium in every Spartan race, except the two World Championships. Some required 110% and some, admittedly, only 80% of my efforts. Rising to the level of my competition rather than the level of my standards, shame on me. Those wins weren’t as rewarding. I had plenty more left in the tank, in my training and on the course, but I was missing something. By the end of the 2019 season, I was excited and anxious to learn that I’d qualified for the Spartan Elite heat for 2020. The next step, among the best of the best. This is what I’d been working for. I could’ve stayed competing age group, ‘winning’ races here and there because it boosted my ego and felt good. But, I was in the wrong room. I’d rather be at the bottom of the ladder I want to climb, then the top of the one I don’t. 

I know, with certainty, 2020 will be my most challenging race season to date. I know that I’m starting at the bottom and have to grind my way up. THAT is was what I was missing, the motivation to work my ass off harder than I have.. probably ever. Being surrounded by the best makes you better. Chances are slim that I’ll place in the top at all this year. It’s not pessimism, it’s reality. In fact, my goal is to place in the top 10 by the end of the season. That’s a feat in itself. Qualifying as an Elite has not only gotten harder, but the competition continues to get better, too. You’re standing shoulder to shoulder with the top Spartan Pro and Elite athletes in the country. I might be at the bottom, but at least I’m in the right room.

So what are you afraid of? To compete on an elite level with athletes FAR better than you, to apply for a higher position at work, to move your life and follow happiness, to surround yourself with people that have knowledge you don’t.. stop living in your story. About the what if’s or unknowns or potential failure if you decided to pursue more in life. The big, bad, scary ‘f’ word.. failure. Get over yourself. Without failure you wouldn’t even know success.. our most important lessons come from the toughest situations.

Don’t even give me that fear bullshit. It’s an excuse. It’s not even real.. YOU make it up. Tell me, what’s the worst that would happen by getting uncomfortable? You come in 25th place? You should be more afraid of being stagnant. 

I placed 25th out of 36 in my first Spartan Elite point ranking race of the season. And dammit, I’m proud! I left it all on the course and now know where I can improve. Challenge accepted. This was the exact kick in the ass I craved. I will bring a better version of myself to the next race, and the one after that, and the one after that.. In turn, I’ll also be my best self for my clients, my relationships, my peers and my friends, too. A win-win. Why don’t we see headlines that celebrate a 25th place finish? The winners didn’t always win. Losing leads to winning. And a podium placing isn’t the the only measurement that defines it. It’s all relative.

Watching the other Spartan Elites and top Pros at the start line, they have their friendships and camaraderie, but I knew I belonged even if I had a long way to go. I wasn’t even afraid of coming in last.. because SO WHAT. I’m growing, learning, being better than I was yesterday just by showing up. Ask yourself this. Are you showing up for yourself in your life right now? No? Then, start. Stop fucking around, complaining about what you don’t have or where you’re not and take the damn jump already. Go ahead, kick and scream the entire way, that’s cool. But, jump.

Take a hard look at yourself. What about your peer group? The people you surround yourself with? Your work and your relationship.. where do you fall? Are you stuck there because you enjoy the easy win? Grow some balls and show up in life.

The fact of the matter is, that your opponent is your partner, NOT your enemy. A worthy opponent inspires you. She brings out the best there is in you. She challenges you. The better your opponent, the more opportunity you have for a personal best. 

As long as you’re in the right room, I give you permission to celebrate 25th place. Celebrate the shit out of it! Then keep failing your way to success.